I Won't Tell If You Won't
by chalantness
Summary: Prompt #48: hidden. Post 2x05 "Beneath" - He always gets like this, all mad and overprotective, whenever something happens to her during a mission he wasn't a part of. She just wishes he wouldn't beat himself up for things that aren't his fault.


**Title: **_I Won't Tell If You Won't__  
_**Rating:** NC-17/M  
**Word Count:** 2,200+  
**Characters:** Dick/Barbara  
**Summary:** He always gets like this, all mad and overprotective, whenever something happens to her during a mission he wasn't a part of. She just wishes he wouldn't beat himself up for things that aren't his fault.  
**Prompt:** #48: hidden  
**Other Inspirations: **2x05 "Beneath"

**Note:** I was really hesitant about finishing and posting this, because I have _no idea_ how it turned into what it is. And personally, _I_ think it's all sorts of... well, there's a lot to be worked on. But I guess I'll just let you guys be the judges. Hit or miss?

* * *

**I Won't Tell If You Won't**

* * *

She's sitting on top of the bed with her laptop in front of her, though she can't really concentrate much, which sucks because she has a paper due in the morning that she's only in the preliminary stages of editing. If you ignore all the unanswered questions (which she hates, but whatever) then tonight's mission ended on a pretty good note.

But her shoulders are kind of sore and to be honest, her head still hurts a little from when she got brain-blasted.

You just have to take the good with the bad, she supposes.

And the only reason she's still at the Cave now is because they're waiting on Bruce. He's never said it out loud because he's never needed to, but they usually try to beam back to Gotham all together because it comforts Bruce to know that they all made it through the day in one piece. Plus, Alfred makes them dinner no matter how late they get in, and who is she to deny his wonderful cooking?

Anyway, she's in Dick's room because there's just a lot of commotion going on outside, which is to be expected when you have so many people under one roof at the same time. And usually she'd be a part of that, too, but she _really_ needed to concentrate if she wants to revise this thing before morning.

"Need a little help, Barbie?"

She looks up from the screen and sees Dick walking towards her with a small plate of strawberries in one hand and a smile on his face.

And there go the remains of her concentration…

"Yeah, did you want to finish revising this essay for me?"

He laughs. "I asked if you needed help, not if you needed me to do it for you."

"It was worth a shot."

He sets the plate on the nightstand beside her and plops himself onto the mattress. "Let me take a look," he says, reaching for her laptop, and when she picks it up to hand it to him, she instantly regrets the motion. A sharp pain shoots through the tender muscles in her shoulders and she kind of has to stop moving altogether. "Barbara?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." He moves the laptop onto the nightstand. "What happened? Where does it hurt?"

She sort of just looks at him and he raises his eyebrows expectantly. She's never, _ever_ gotten away with lying to him, so she relents and admits, "My shoulders. I think it was from when the plane…"

He just nods and she doesn't say anything after that.

He always gets like this, all mad and overprotective, whenever something happens to her during a mission he wasn't a part of. She kind of hates that he feels the need to be there beside her and protect her from everything, but at the same time, she _can't_ hate him for being so worried. She just wishes he wouldn't beat himself up for things that aren't his fault.

She's about to remind him of this for the umpteenth time when he interrupts her by saying, "Lay down on your stomach."

"Huh?" She looks at him like he's crazy. "Why do you want me to—"

"Just trust me."

No, that doesn't make her feel any better. But she complies anyway because, despite moments that suggest otherwise, she _does_ trust him. She just likes to argue with him, too.

So she unfolds her legs and rolls over so that she's lying with her stomach flat against the comforter. Her arms are crossed and tucked underneath her chin, and some of her hair falls to her face from the messy bun she'd had it in. Her top slid a little, too, as she adjusted herself, so now the skin just above the waistband of her leggings is exposed.

She's about to tug the hem back down, but before she can even move her arm, she feels the bed dip a little as he climbs over her and straddles her waist.

"Don't freak out," he tells her before she has the chance to ask what he's doing, and barely a second later, she feels him dig the heels of his hands into her back. There's just enough pressure so that she can feel the knots in her muscles, and she sucks in a sharp breath as he rubs a little harder. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

She'd call him out on being gentle with her, but it feels _really good_ and she doesn't want him to stop, so she just shakes her head.

"Your shoulders are pretty messed up, Barbie."

He's definitely frowning, because she can hear it in his voice. "I'm _fine_, Dick," she tells him softly. She really _does_ hate it when he worries about her. "There are way worse things that could've happened. You know I got lucky with just this."

"I know," he sighs. "It doesn't mean that I have to like it."

He presses his thumbs between her shoulder blades and she can't help the moan that falls from her lips.

But she can tell he's having a little trouble massaging her back while she still has clothes on, so she pulls one arm out and takes the hem between her fingers, beginning to tug it upward. She feels him stop his movements, though, and his hand grasps her wrist before she can pull it up any higher. She makes this _noise_ she didn't even know she could make, and he groans when his name leaves her lips.

"Barbara," he says, sounding choked. She tries tugging her wrist free but he tightens his grip. "_Don't_. If you do that, I don't think I'll be able to…"

He doesn't finish his sentence, but she doesn't want or need him to.

They've been playing this game for too long, practically since they met, and it's just gotten more frustrating over the years and in more than one way. They flirt and argue with each other, claim that they're just really good friends and then get jealous when other people threaten to enter the picture, and they've made out behind closed doors more than she could hope to count.

He has this thing about relationships and the workplace, which she's entirely sure he got from Bruce. It makes her want to slap the both of them. (She's come close to on several occasions.)

So she stubbornly tells him, "Good."

"Barbara." He sounds like he's pleading for something. "We don't really want to go there."

She twists her wrist free and pulls her shirt and tank top over her head before he can stop her, tossing it onto the floor somewhere. She looks at him over her shoulder, watches him swallow and hold her stare, and if she feels chills she's sure it's not because of the cool air.

"No, _you're_ the one that doesn't want to go there, Dick," she tells him. "_I_ want to. You _know_ that."

He kind of doesn't do anything for a long moment, and she thinks her eyes sting a little with tears she refuses to shed when he combs his fingers through her hair and turns her head so that she's staring at the headboard. Then he pushes her hair out of the way so that her shoulders are completely bare, and her eyelids flutter closed when he places a wet kiss to the base of her neck.

She feels him slip his thumbs underneath the strap of her lacy bra, pushing them down before digging his fingers into her skin and smoothing his palms over her back.

"Don't you remember what happened with Kaldur and Tula?"

He pushes the heels of his hands into her shoulder blades, her own moan cutting her off before she can answer.

"If something serious happened to you and we were more than just this, I just wouldn't be able to handle it. And that's not fair to everyone else for us to get so emotionally involved. It's hard enough to separate my feelings from business, but to do that with you, too? It's impossible."

She doesn't really know what comes over her (well, okay, she does), but in one swift movement she twists herself and rolls over so that he's underneath her.

"Dick, we're already more than just friends, aren't we? Just because we don't say it or show it to anyone else, doesn't stop that. You say that you don't want us to end up like Kaldur and Tula? Well, _I_ don't want us to end up like Kaldur and Raquel. They loved each other but never said anything about it, and then she lost him because of a girl that wasn't even his to begin with."

He gives her this _look _and reaches up, brushing his fingers over her forehead and tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "It was much more than that, Barbara," he tells her softly, unconvincingly.

"No, it wasn't."

He closes his eyes. "The risks…"

She hates that she's crying as she pushes herself off of him, it's just that feeling rejected _sucks_, especially when it's from him.

She rolls onto her back again and dips her fingers between her legs, letting the hurt dissolve as her lips fall open in a moan. "Barbara," he chokes, and she really, _really_ shouldn't be doing this with him right next to her, but _god_, she can't _think_ when she's like this.

"I'm sorry." Warm tears roll over her temples and into her hair. "I'm just so…"

He swallows, hard, and she thinks he may be having as much trouble breathing as she is.

And she doesn't even register that he slid her leggings and panties off until he's pushing her hand away and parting her legs even more. He swipes his thumb over her center and she sort of just _loses_ it, squeezing her eyes shut and letting out this whimper that doesn't even sound like herself as she fists the comforter.

She feels him tuck an arm underneath her head and lean his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her face. He drags his knuckles lightly across her opening, her body trembling and her breath coming out shallow at his teasing, and he places wet kisses to the column of her neck when he finally dips his fingers into her and she gasps and tosses her head back.

He mutters something in a different language close to her ear when she rolls her hips against him.

"Barbara, how long?"

_God_, he's going to _talk_ to her during this?

He slows his fingers and swipes his thumb against her nerves again, making a shudder ripple through her entire body. "Barbara."

"Ever since… _oh_," she breathes, "Ever since Artemis's first day at Gotham Academy." He kind of _stops_ in surprise, and she has to moan and roll her hips again to remind him to keep going. "I was… _oh_… I was so jealous of her when you, _ah_, took that stupid picture."

"That long? You've been…" He flattens his palm against her and she sucks in a breath, "ever since freshman year?"

If her body wasn't already humming, she'd be worried that she was blushing at the confession.

"_Barbara_," he mutters into her ear. "I thought… I thought I was the only one that felt that way for so long." His chest presses against her as he slides his lips up her neck and over hers, swiping his tongue over her bottom lip to get her mouth to part. If she thought it was hard to breathe before, her lungs are on _fire_ now as he's kissing her and still working his fingers between her legs.

Then he pulls his hand and lips away at the same time, and the cry that comes out of her mouth is almost embarrassing.

He presses wet kisses along her collarbone and makes his way down her body too slowly for her liking. "You don't know how hard it is to be around you, Barbara," he mumbles against her skin, "To try and remember to keep everything to myself."

He drags his tongue against her and she pushes her fingers through his hair and tugs as she arches her back.

"We were stupid for trying to hide it, weren't we?" he asks against her.

She doesn't get a chance to answer, though, because then he's rolling his tongue over her nerves over and over again until her body's shuddering and she's moaning his name with her release. She's trembling as he kisses his way back up, making her shiver as he's dragging his tongue against her skin.

They're obviously going to have to talk about this thing between them, and she can see the worry in his eyes when she looks into them.

But for now, she places a hand against his cheek and kisses him gently, almost lazily, until they both need to come up for air. Besides, there's only one thing she needs to know right now, and the rest they can sort out later.

"No more hiding?" she whispers.

His hand slides down her side and settles at her hip, his thumb tracing over her skin as he smiles at her. "No more hiding."


End file.
